Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Ocho Cinco has gone loco

Hola! Bienvenido al mejor blog en todo el mundo. I thought I’d start with a little international flair… I figured if it was good enough for Bengals WR Chad Johnson, then it was good enough for me. It has been reported for several days now, after rumors had swirled for weeks, that the feisty and arrogant wideout had officially changed his last name from “Johnson” to “Ocho Cinco”. The name change, which was officially confirmed by Broward County, Florida officials on August 28th, is actually the culmination of a two-year long escapade.

On October 29, 2006, Johnson had “Ocho Cinco” printed on a velcro overlay that he colorfully flashed to fans before a game against the Falcons. He had been urging reporters for days before the game to call him “Ocho Cinco”, although the reason for the stunt is still unclear (severe mental illness?). Whatever the reason, Johnson was fined $5,000 by the league, but obviously this sum was a joke. BTW, the Bengals lost that game to the Falcons, with Johnson going for six catches, 78 yards, and one TD.

I have to admit… In high school I had a friend that was SO enamored with Japanese cartoons that every time a new, cool Japanese animation show hit American shows, he would run right out and legally change his name to that of the main character in the cartoon. Yeah… It is as lame as it sounds. I mean, is Johnson so starved for attention or so vindictive against his team and league that fined him two years ago that he felt the need to legally change his identity? I thought TO was the king of publicity and pretty much had the market cornered on obnoxious narcissism, but I was obviously mistaken. My sister, the psychologist, would have a field day with this guy!!

And, couldn’t he have thought of something more original than the number that is already printed on the back of his jersey? I mean, people who don’t speak English can still read the numbers “8” and “5”. Well, I thought I’d try my hand at some suggested obvious name changes for other players in the league, Chad Johnson-style…
How about Jets QB Brett El Viejo (Spanish)…? Or former Bears RB Cedric Misdadig (Dutch)…? Or Colts backup QB Jared Grasso (Italian)…? Or Dolphins RB Ricky _______ (Greek)…? That’s right, I went there.

At any rate, this guy has become the proverbial cancer. You never want to reward a guy when he is this obnoxious by trading him when he wants to be traded (think Manny Ramirez), but you run the risk of one player virtually ruining your season as a team if something is not done about his attitude. I don’t envy Marvin Lewis (who is on the hot seat this year anyway), but if you own Carson Palmer or TJ Houshmandzadeh on your fantasy team, you just have to hope that crazy isn’t contagious.


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