Good news (potentially, at least) for prosecutors in the Roger Clemens investigation: steroid distributor Kirk Radomski found the missing shipping receipts for the human grown hormone he sent Clemens...
Under his TV.
"My TV broke and I said, 'Damn, I got to get it off the dresser, and it was right there."
My only question is, how big of a bubble TV did Radomski have? And why do I feel like he was a fighter in "Punch Out!"?
"I just couldn't find the receipt. And just by [accident] this weekend, I moved my TV and whatnot and I found the package, an envelope, and it had [Clemens'] receipt and about seven or eight other receipts."
He had a whole package under the TV? Packages - plural! - it sounds like. I have a nice sized LCD set and I'd notice a letter-sized envelope sticking out from underneath it, let alone a FedEx package. How does the guy manage to ever find his keys in the morning, or his wallet?
And could this sound any more fabricated? All of a sudden these once-missing receipts turn up? Plus, it still won't prove anything. So he sent a package to Clemens. Big deal. I highly, highly doubt that he listed the package's contents as "illegal performance enhancing drugs" or anything of that nature. Clemens will just claim it was something else, like his dignity that he'd left behind.
The only good that will come out of this is that the convicted steroid distributor now has a valid reason to upgrade the bedroom TV.
Take that, Mrs. Radomski!