Slammin' Sammy Sosa made headlines when he told a Dominican newspaper of his plans to retire... in 2009.
Sosa, the only player ever with three consecutive seasons of 60+ homers (but seriously, we all know how that happened), will hang up his cleats after the '09 World Baseball Classic, playing one final time for his native country of the Dominican Republic.
The only thing odd about this announcement is the fact that Sosa isn't playing now! It seems that MLB clubs have already made the retirement decision for him. Sosa told Dominican paper "Hoy":
"I'm not looking for a job. In fact, I have told my agent that he should stop offering my services to MLB teams. I'm not retired. I remain highly focused and not begging for a contract."
Nice. The free agent equivalent of the "You-can't-fire-me-I-quit!" line. But the fact that he made it a point to include that he's not begging screams that he is, actually, begging for work.
Maybe he can play for whatever team Barry Bonds plays for? Oh wait...
Or if he really needs cash, he could always do this.